where is my mind..

About a year or so ago, I decided to go back to school. I had no idea how hard this was actually going to be. I am so up for it and I feel very focused...most of the time. Having an almost one year old little boy (my precious Caleb), working part time, and managing a home (keeping up with laundry, cleaning, etc.) is proving quite difficult! BUT, I know I can and WILL do it! I might be tired, and scatter-brained at times, but I know what I'm doing :) Honestly, I can't seem to get Lex and Brody off my mind. I'm so worried about them and this whole situation right now. I just cannot believe the lies that have been told..it makes me physically sick. I know one thing--children DO NOT LIE about the way the feel! They have no reason to! And to call your children LIARS?? That is just ridiculous. Karma, Karma, Karma. "You reap what you sow!" I'll just say that you can only get away with lie after lie after lie for a small amount of time, then it will come back to bite you in the butt! I'm not saying I'm perfect nor that I've never done anything wrong. I KNOW HOW TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ACTIONS! I don't deny my wrong-doings! But, I am an adult, not an immature child-like girl. Although some seem to think 22 is an immature age, it IS NOT..in my case. Something has been bothering me really bad since the hearing last week. The opposing attorney brought up the fact -to the entire courtroom and judge, mind you- that my "father murdered my mother and committed suicide" what the hell did that have to do with anything?? THAT was extremely hurtful, and when it was happening I simply could not believe it. I obviously ran out crying. The fact that she "went there" makes me absolutely sick. What in the world did I do to deserve to have THAT brought up??? Not a thing! Anyway--moving on. Caleb is almost a year old, unbelievable! I feel like I was just pregnant with him yesterday! I remember wanting him to come out and meet us so very much, now I'm wishing he was still a newborn. Life and time is flying. This amazing little boy has made my life and world an amazing, wonderful, new, fantastic place! He makes every day worth living, and has given my life so much meaning and purpose. It's hard to put into words the way that he truly makes me feel. I have never felt so much love. When i look at him, it just exudes from me. He makes my heart smile. He is my life. Any time I'm feeling down, all I have to do is take one look at him and everything is alright. I know now what it truly means to love someone<3

I better get back to studying!! Goodnight :)